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November 2006

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Nov. 23rd, 2006

Gryff

How Turkey is soooo much fun..........

It's scary, I know I'm posting at this thing. Thanksgiving Day morning and I'm sitting here updating my blog...Although not much going here, Ray is putting the turkey in the crock pot, and is about to curl up with me and catch the parade. Giving thanks...never understood the concept, until now...many things to be thankful for this year....Especially being thankful for having a wonderful man in my life.....it may sound like a broken record to all of you, but it's one I will keep singing until I can't sing anymore :-)....I'm thankful for family Momma, Grandma, Tashi...Thankful for friends Brandon and Tiffani, being true to their nature and say what's on their mind right then and there. But of course they speak their mind, they are from Detroit! Not Southwestern Ohio, where people around here don't usually.....Thankful for 2 new jobs. My monkey suit/daytime job and my newly acquired Part-Time Job @ Sports Plus that I started last night...Holiday money is definately coming in for sure now :-)......In total I am thankful for an awesome year filled with ups and downs...The ups all started on January 1, 2006


Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Jun. 21st, 2006

sailor mouth

Some Hearts Get Lucky Sometimes....Even Hearts Like Mine

Right now, I am just so frustrated.....I just had a big fight with Ray and since I haven't vented on her in a while, might as well lol....It's just stupid...We had this big fight, how about I don't call him enough.....I have a job, I have bills to pay, is it sooo wrong for me to not call him everyday.....ugh!! What am I supposed to do..."Yes, we love to advertise your business on the air, but could hold on about for about an hour, I must call my boyfriend, to tell him how I'm doing or he will get worried." I take extra shifts so what!! I would think he would understand what it's like to have a demanding job, because he's practically glued to his pager...And you don't see me putting up a shit fit about it....Okay all venting aside...I do love him with all my heart, but this is just something we need to get through....anyways...I'm all vented out lats hehe

Jan. 26th, 2006

Posession

Beaming From The Inside :-)

I don't know what to say....It feels good that's all that can be said...Glowing has its high points :)....."Nobody has ever made me feel this way, I'm gonna stickwitu...." LOL I must quote PCD, because that's how I feel :)
Your Spicy Score: Medium

You are hot enough to make a lasting impression, but you strike a balance.
You know when you're being too fiery, and you also know when to bump up the temperature.
Naughty and clever. Sexy yet down to earth. You know how to work both sides of your personality.
Men find you hot yet approachable - the perfect combination!

Jan. 8th, 2006

Wishful Thinking

You Could Be Right......You Could Be Certain.......

Insomnia.......hmmmm I had a song for that word, just can't think of it right now.....I'm just like on this very very good high now :) (not that kind of high) I can't describe it....I'm smiling from the inside out....it's just like wow..... Hung out with Robbie today...awesome awesome awesome...shopping, watching horrible indie flicks, and TGI Friday's is always good for a saturday :)He's an amazing kisser lol just thought I would get that out there lol....Im really diggin this positive vibe....keeping busy and not worried about impressing people.... :)I am soooo going see how long this lasts........In a couple hours have to get ready for the game (Who-Dey!!) My prediction either Steelers by 10 or Bengals by 3, that's my story I'm sticking to it :).....AGAIN!! I saw Rent....I'm a geek know lol it's great, getting to sing along and everything lol "And if you give a dammmmmnnnn, take me or leave me......" You can't hep but sing along to it....Tashi's been egging me to come to a wrestling show....I'm thinking alongs the lines of going to ROH on the 27th, haven't decided yet....hell Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe is more than worth the admission in going...so I'm really thinking on the verge of going.....I'm twisting Tashi's arm in going, she's afraid, because of the chaos that goes on outside during their shows lol Like she can't handle it lol It's not that I'm not a fan anymore, I just don't have the time to catch any shows anymore...is that sooo bad?? Well anyways, can't figure out anything else to write about....Got work for the week, going out to dinner with Robbie on Tuesday, then going out with Christie, Lily, Robbie and Doug on Friday :)Should be a grraaaaanddd time...well gotta go

Lats Freaky Beings


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Dec. 28th, 2005

Punk Status

I Don't Know What To Do When I Get There.....

So....I'm not as stressed out as I was last entry...I went to Chelsea's today, and we went to the gym...it was great, got to spar a lil and hit the punching bag, quite a few times....so I'm good for now...It's scary who I have a date (And you did hear me correctly)tomorrow night with....Aaron!! Yep, I'm going out with Aaron...it's more of an informal thing....going to see a movie and going karaoking lol...I haven't done that in ages.....Weird, huh? He seems to pick up when I've had enough, and really need a break lol...And nothing is more releasing that a karaoke stage lol I also got a chance to talk to Tashi....she's been a shoulder to cry on for me......I don't know what I would do without her :)It's weird for me, I refuse to cry....In my mind, I feel if I cry, I'm the weak one, and I have to be the strong ones for my younger sibs, because that's what the eldest child has to do...You have to be the strong one when for them, when your parents cant....I had to be the strong one, when our mom moved out and left Tashi and I with our grandparents, don't get me wrong, I will be forever grateful to my grandparents, but with my dad not being there for me, then my mom leaving....It left a hole.....my mom and I are sort of on our way back, to trusting each other....we haven't been close since she left, and that was when I was 8, and not coming back until I was 17. Left for school...Then onto the military...and to where we are now, we would have a better relationship, if there weren't certain people to influence her in thinking that her kids don't love her....we do, but you can't let some outside person drive a wedge between you and your blood...Then there is my father....I am only a daughter to him, when A) He needs to get out of the 15,000 he owes in child support, because of me or B) For appearance purpses only (Grandaddy Bill's funeral)....I couldn't cry then either, well one I was in uniform, two I had to be the strong one for my younger sisters on that side of the family....I feel weak if I cry.....the last time, I cried I had to see a shrink and led to a boat load of personal obstacles and issues, thinking will I wake up from this nightmare? ...and I didn't want that to happen again....I don't see myself as uncaring..I just rather not show my grief....Is that so wrong of me?.....I might be on a long vent, but I was taught that you can't have stuff eat away at you.....This has been really building...Anyone who has parents that love them are the lucky ones...myself, I felt I had ones, that didn't....my mom, she does and is trying to make up for it....my dad doesn't even want to think that I exist.....In a strange way I would like to thank him.....because of scum like him....I've learned not to be proverbial doormat :-), okay now I'm babbling and this is sad.....I just feel like most times in my life I have been pre-judge with not even knowing me....Not looking for sympathy or pity, just laying my cards out on the table, and give you a glimpse of what's in my head, and dealing with, not sugar coating it in anyway, don't feel there is a need to....so take it for what you will....Being bored and not bieng able to sleep, makes you reflect lol, and by golly that's what sparked this entry lol.....

Okay enough, negativity....total buzzkill lol Have a happy new year and party your arses off, I know I will...lats :)

Dec. 27th, 2005

Punk Status

Tired of being sick and tired.......

Ugh, fuckin' eh......I'm just so frazzed out over work, family.......It's bad when you in order not to spend time with your family, you try to find work to do......So I went to my grandparents.....it was okay, no critizing, which is a first.....my sibs and mom was supposed to come, but their ride (Sperm Donor) had a seizure the previous night and was not in the shape to drive....Transaltion dumbass got drunk the night before and didn't take his medicine.....That's usually how it goes, instead of crying about, I just work off my frustrations and anger about him, I summed up that he's not going to change, no matter how much my mom swears up and down that he has....He's never been there for me before, why should he be there for me now......Well, change of plans on Saturday, not having the binge weekend with Lil instead, going to te NYE party over @ The Exchange in Downtown, I know what your thinking....Yea it's scary, that I'm dealing with people I don't necessary like, but it's work related, and it's all about having a good time :)Now have find a date and an outfit lolI know I can find one, but the other is a toughie lol.....Well must get back to this dismal place I call a job, lats

Dec. 19th, 2005

Posession

Taking A Break From Sanity.......

1)What time are you starting this? 9:25pm
2) Name?: Tina
3) Date of birth? 9-3-1982
4) Sex?: Female
5) Height?: 5'9"
6) Eye color?: Brown
7) Weight?: Somewhere in the region of 200-210
8) Location?: Fairfield, OH
9) School?: Nope, graduated in October
10) Have you ever failed a grade?: No
11) If you have, what grade did you fail?: n/a
12) Do you have crush on someone?: Yes
13) Do you have a bf/gf?: No
14) What are you wearing right now? White blouse and navy blue pinstriped pants
15) would you have sex before marriage?: Already done
16) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: Yes
18) Do you smoke?: No, quit 3 years ago
19) Do you drink?: Yep Yep
20) Are you ghetto?: Only when I need to stomp a mudhole into somebody
21) Are you a preppy?: ummmm, no
22) What are your favorite colors?: Blue, black and silver
3) What is your favorite animal?: Lions
24) Do you have any birthmarks?: Yep
25) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: Yea
26) Who is/are your best friend(s)?: Lily and Kate
28) Who do you talk to most on the phone? Lily and Grandma
29) Have you ever been slapped?: Yep
30) Do you get online a lot?: Yea, mostly work, or just boredom
31) Are you shy or outgoing?: Depends on the vibe of the room
32) Do you shower?: Yes!
33) Do you hate school?: It had its ups and downs
34) Do you have a social life?: Yep, very content
35) How easily do you trust people?: No, not really
36) Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)?: Once
37) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: I will never tell
38) Do you like gymnastics?: Yea, loved it in elementary school
39) Have you ever been out of state?: ummm, yea.....
40) Do you like to travel?: love<33
41) Have you ever been suspended from school?: Yes
42) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: YES!!!!!!!!
43) Are you spoiled?: Nope
44) Are you a brat?: Depends on the day of the week
45) Have you ever been dumped?: Yes
46) What's your favorite drink?: Green Tea
47) Do you like Snapple?: Yes
48) Do you drink a lot of water?: Yes
49) What toothpaste do you use?: Colgate and sometimes Crest
50) Do you have a cell phone or pager?: Yes
51) Do you have a curfew?: I'm 23, what do you think????
52) Who do you look up to?: My great grandma
53) Are you a role model?: I wanna be one for my younger sibs
54) Have you ever been to sixflags?: Yep Yep
55) What name brand do you wear the most?: Gap, Independent
56) What jewelry do you wear?: necklace, earrings
57) What do you have pierced?: Ears, belly button, tongue, and right cartlidge in the ear
58) What do you want pierced?: I'm going for 3rd tongue piercing (j/k)
59) Do you like taking pictures?: Yes
60) Do you like getting your picture taken?: Depends if I am looking cute that day
61) Do you have a tan?: Don't need a tan
62) Do you get annoyed easily?: Nope
63) Have you ever started a rumor?: Nope
64) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: Yes
65) Do you have your own pool?: No, my aparment complex does though
66) Do you have any siblings?: Yes, 6 younger sibs (4 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers)
67) Have you ever been played?: Yea, I've learned my lesson
68) Have you ever played anyone?: Only as retaliation, once
69) Do you get along with your parents?: No, Sperm donor (non existant in my mind) Mother (serious trust issues)
70) How do you vent your anger?: Kickboxing, LiveJournal, singing, yoga, dancing
72) Have you ever been fired from a job?: No
73) Do you even have a job?: Yes :) And loving it soooo much :)
74) Do you daydream a lot?: On occasion
75) Do you have a lot of exes?: Not really
76) Do you run your mouth?: If I know I can back it up
77) What do you want a tattoo of?: The Godsmack symbol on my lower back or right Shoulder
78) What do you have a tattoo of?: None at the moment
79) What are your favorite flowers?: White Rose
80) What does your ex bf/gf look like?: Kind of a mix of Jake Gyllehaal and Paul Walker, but taller
81) Do your exes look alike?: Eh, not really
82) Have you ever been bitched out?: Yea
83) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: This past weekend
84) Are you rude?: Only when the person was rude to me :)
85) When was the last compliment you received?: Today
86) Do you like getting dirty?: Yep, down and dirty is the best
87) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: Innie
88) Are you flexible?: I take yoga, don't I??
89) What is your heritage?: Melting Pot
90) What is your lucky number?: 19
91) What does your hair look like right now?: Short and brown
92) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: Yea
93) Who are the most important people in the world to you?: My younger sibs and my friends
94) Describe your looks?: More less along the lines of Quasimodo
95) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: Don't wanna dye my hair
96) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: I have
97) Would you ever date someone older than you?: I have
98) When was the last time you were drunk?: Last Thursday
99) When was the last time you went on a date?: About 2 weeks ago
100) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: Both are mutally satisfying lol
101) Have you ever given?: Yes
102) Have you ever received?: Yes
103) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: Yes
104) Do you have one now?: No
105) How many rings until you answer the phone?: 3
106) Have you ever been skinny dipping?: Yes
107) Have you ever been sky diving?: Yes, for my 20th birthday
108) Do you look more like your mother or father?: Paternal Grandmother
109) Do you cry a lot?: No, I refuse to cry
110) Do you ever cry to get your way?: No
111) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: My right hip
112) What phrase do you use most when on the phone? What's up?
113) Are you the romantic type?: Yes
114) Have you ever been chased by cops?: No
115) What do you like most about your body?: My eyes
116) What do you like least about your body?: My tummy
117) Who was the last person you kissed?: Robbie
118) When was the last time you threw up?: It was a few months ago
119) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? brunettes
120) What do the shoes you last wore look like?: black strappy heels
121) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: No
122) What about cleavage?: Yea, sometimes when I go out clubbing
123) Are your best friends virgins?: No
124) Have you ever fucked someone up?: It's not my fault that she had to have surgery for her nose, she shouldn't have slapped me
125) Have you ever been fucked up?: Got mugged once, does that count?
126) What color are your underwear right now?: baby blue and black
127) What theme does your room have?: Beige, Red, and gold
128) What size shoe do you wear?: 11
129) How are you feeling right now?: A little ragged, but pacing through
130) When was the last time you were at a party?: Last Tuesday
131) Have you ever given a lapdance?: Yes, I have
132) What do you sleep in?: Depends on how I'm feeling
133) Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: Yes there has…
134) What is one of your bad qualities?: I have a tendency to procrastinate
135) What is one of your good qualities?: I'm a quick study
136) Would you marry for money?: No
137) What do you drive?: Right now, silver taurus
138) Have you ever given or received roadhead?: No
139) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child?: Neither one
140) What's does your lj username mean?: My birthstone and I collect angel figurines
142) When was the last time you cried in school?: 3 years ago, when an ex of mine died in battle and my grandfather the following month
143) Do you wear Chucks?: Yea
144) For two million dollars, would you pose for playboy?: Tastefully. If I had the body for it also.
145) What time are you finishing this?: 9:56pm

Dec. 16th, 2005

Flashback

It's Eating Away......

Scary, very scary.....Did you ever have a random thought, that reminded you of a previous crush you had on a person?? Work did that to me today....Tay and I were going over some photo samples today, and one of the campaigns had this one guy, that soooo reminded me of a guy I used to like....This was like a few years ago....this pic had just fit his style, at the time....put together, but also fierce, agressive looking.....I forgot the reasoning for me having that crush, but his demeanor was definately an instant attraction...almost a primal feeling if you will lol, also made me wonder why I never took the iniative in getting to know him more..."Some dance to remember, some dance to forget..." Kind of the thing that eats away at you, when you are staring at the bottom of your glass that you finished your vodka collins with....oh the many insecurities of one's self within :-) ....Just a passing thought lol....Oy the holidays are approaching, shopping madness takes its toll...Had an event to go to tonight, but skipped it, I've been exhausted with work and big fam issues....not really in getting to either subject....but with stress factors, they both cancel each other out, equally as stressing...Kind of taking time out for me, checking out what I've been missing, catching up with some things. Have trusty people filling me in what I'm missing at my old internship....hmmm need to catch a show one of these days....I swear one of these days I will lol...hmm, just been really hammered....Mental Health Day #129552, coming to a calendar near you...Okay I am soo rambling....I have a point in here, somewhere, just have too much of a headache to remember what it is, so writing, meaningless dribble, to relieve pressure from my head with do the trick until I can come up with my point lol Wootens!! Random quote from an old classmate of mine lol....Wow, but yea, things are pretty hectic with me....yea, I'm on here every now and then, but have other things going on ya know??...eh oh well....My mom called me at work this afternoon... tried to lecture me of spreading myself too thin...acutally her exact words "What are we going to write in your obituary, died of working too much and not spending enough time with her family", some relaxing words huh??, as far as I'm concerned the only family I got is Tashi, Denay and Sean, the rest of them can go to hell... Kind words for the fam huh?? It's how I feel...no back story needed. hell, I got nothing else, so take all Lats!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


You Were Naughty This Year

You Were 75% Naughty, 25% Nice

You may not have been good this year...
But you sure had a really good time.
And nothing from Santa could top that!


You Are A Margarita Martini

You are a full on partier, with a good deal of sass and spunk.
You're always friendly and welcoming - and very tolerant of obnoxious drunks.

You should never: Drink and dance. The pictures will be everywhere the next morning!

Your ideal party: Is loud, with good music and fun drinking games.

Your drinking soulmates: Those with a Dirty Martini personality

Your drinking rivals: Those with a Classic Martini personality

Dec. 8th, 2005

Posession

Little Insights That Makes You Think............

[ ] I am shorter than 5’4.
[x] I think I’m ugly, even sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different colour.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] have/I’ve had braces.
[ ] wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[x] I’ve run away from home.
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I’ve had children.
[ ] I’ve lost a child.

School/Work
[ ] I’m in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I’ve missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I’ve been on the Honour Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I’ve stolen something from my job.
[ ] I’ve been fired.
[x] I’ve skipped school.

Embarrassment
[x] I’ve slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[ ] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[x] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I’ve had my pants rip in public

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I’ve gotten stitches.
[x] I’ve broken a bone.
[ ] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.

Traveling
[x] I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[x] I’ve been to Canada.
[x] I’ve been to Mexico.
[ ] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I’ve been to Japan.
[x] I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I’ve been to Europe.
[ ] I’ve been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[ ] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[x] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I’ve been to a casino.
[x] I’ve been skydiving.
[x] I’ve been an abuse victim.
[x] I’ve gone skinny dipping.
[x] I’ve played spin the bottle.
[ ] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I’ve crashed a car.
[x]I’ve been Skiing.
[x] I’ve been in a play.
[x] I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I’ve played chicken.
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[x] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[x] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I’ve eaten Sushi.
[x] I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I’m single
[ ] I’m in a relationship.
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[x] I’ve had someone cheat on me.
[x] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[x] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of commitment.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’m in love.
[x] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced.
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[x] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[ ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[x] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I love to flirt.
[x]’ve been kissed in the rain.
[x] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.
[x] I’ve accidentally flashed someone.
[x] I’ve purposefully flashed someone.
[x] I’ve slept all night in a bed with a person of the opposite sex.
[ ] I’ve slept all night in a bed with a person of the same sex.
[x] I’ve bitten someone.
[x] I’ve been bitten.
[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I’ve kissed a member of the same sex.
[x] I’ve kissed a member of the same sex on the lips.
[x] I’ve made out with a member of the same sex.
[ ] I’ve had sex/fooled around with a member of the same sex.
[x] I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
[x] I’ve slept with a co-worker.
[x] I’ve made out in an elevator.
[x] I’ve had sex in a car.
[x] I’ve had sex in public.
[x]I’ve had sex in the shower.
[ ] I’ve had sex in a sibling’s bed.
[x] I’ve had sex in a parent’s bed.

Honesty/Crime
[ ] I am a terrible liar.
[x]I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x]I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I’ve cheated on a test.
[x] I’ve ran a red light.
[x] I’ve been suspended from school.
[x] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[x] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[x] I’ve been arrested.
[ ] I’ve shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[x] I’ve passed out from drinking.
[x] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I smoke
[ ] I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
[ ] I’m a stoner.
[ ] I’ve snorted cocaine.
[ ] I’ve eaten shrooms.
[x] I’ve popped E.
[ ] I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
[x] I’ve done hard drugs. (define "hard?")
[ ] I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] AND WITHOUT WATER!

Depression and Self-harm

[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I’m depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[x] I’m anorexic or bulimic.(I have been)
[x] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I’m addicted to self harm.
[x] I’ve woken up crying.
[x] I’ve cried myself to sleep.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[x] I’ve seen a therapist.

Death and Suicide
[ ] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I’ve planned my own suicide.
[x] I’ve attempted suicide.
[ ] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Political/Social Attitudes

[x] In general, I don’t like people.
[ ] I’m a feminist.
[x] I’m very outgoing.
[x] I listen to political music.
[x] I’m Democratic.
[ ] I’m Republican.
[ ] I’m liberal.
[x] I don’t like Bush because he is dumb.
[x] I don’t like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I’m religious.
[ ] I’m against homosexual marriage.
[ ] I dress fairly modestly.
[x] My attitude is, "If you’ve got it, flaunt it."
[x] I’m pro-choice.

Random
[x] I can sing well. (well, used to...)
[ ] I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don’t kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I’m a snob about grammar.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I like being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
[x] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I’ve not turned anything in and still gotten an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[x] I’m good at remembering names
[x] I’m good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest

Dec. 6th, 2005

Punk Status

Life's a mess......Sometimes a Curse, Sometimes a Blessing.....

Yea!!! Finally saw "Rent", and it was awesome....went out with Eric, one of my co-workers @ Showcase Cinemas, down the street....I'm like officially in love with Jesse L. Martin (okay, not really), but damn it was awesome, there was a few things that were switched around. I looked around the theater, I was sooo glad I was not the only one singing along....it's scary when just about the entire place knew "La Vie Boheme"......It was all fun and giggles....I really need to stop quoting songs lol.....If there is a song that describes what I'm feeling, I would either have the song stuck in my head all day or two vocalize it in the comforts of my own space or quote it like now lol....I'm so feeling that SheDaisy song, though.....It just reminds me, that things work out in the end :), I'm loving how things are going right now for me....makes me think that the stress I was going through was just a test....It's sad that I'm saying psychobabble or have the sayings of a shrink, but I guess I'm feeling this incredible high :)Talked to Lily just this afternoon, it's a few lol We're talking about spending a binge weekend New Year's Weekend....I suggested we should go to the HWA show out near her in Dayton, she was all for it....Since, we've been watching it at her house for a few months, just could never make the trek down to see an actual show, but she's going to the one of Dec 30th (yip yip).....lol it's going to be weird since I'm no longer the intern there lol It will take a little getting used to.....Someone must shoot me now....I will no longer, splurge on a sibling.....my younger brother has been doing great since he's been in the Big Brother/Big Sister program, and his big brother is a darling lol.....I got him a XBox 360 for Christmas....It's scary I know lol But he's doing so well compared to a year ago....I had to show him that I cared. hehe....but yea, that's the start of my Christmas shopping....Meg, Taylor, and Kate are coming with me to Cincinnati Mills this weekend, to do some more shopping....I'm sad I know lol So things have been nicely balanced as of late, hope it stays that way.....Got a job offer, promotions @ a radio station in Colorado Springs...Thinking about it, just don't have the funds to pack up and leave, ya know?? lol Tashi got promoted again....Sergeant Major lol (that's my lil sis), it's messed up what's going on with the program though over there....one of the girls filed a complaint against one of the Marine Instructors....it's a bunch of bs, because she got passed up for a promotion.....He's more of a father figure than anything else....but anything dealing with this girl, is drama...It will work out, as much as tell Tasha this, she's still wanting to beat the girl's ass, can't blame her...but it's not the best way to go....Well not much else to say....so be kind one and all.....Lats :)


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxooxoxoxo

Dec. 1st, 2005

Posession

Longing.......

It's scary for me to feel this way.....I don't know.....I've been longing for his touch, even though I just talked to him not too long ago....Have you ever been soo physically attracted to someone, when the slightest touch from them, send shockwaves through your body.....Feeling that hungry urge, soaring curiousity flutter your brain....You want nothing more than to feel his arms around you, hearing his heart beat....feel his soft kiss, his warm smile, and gaze into his hypnotic eyes....It's driving me insane.....I just feel his hands all over my body, soft and gentle, yet masculine....softly caressing me, it's maddening....I really dont know what to do lol....It's really scare to feel this emotion....Unable to get the image of the last time I was with him out of my head, it's replaying over and over....This has really been on my mind, for a few days now ......Almost like in a dreamlike state....It's weird...Hmmm.....I don't know what to think.....Had to vocalize my current thought and state of mind right now......Take Care All....Lats


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxo

Nov. 29th, 2005

Punk Status

If You Like The Way I'm Thinking, Baby.....Wink At It

lol.......I'm sooo feeling this song, Jason Mraz is awesome nuff said.......So I fell off the radar for about 2 days, and it was wonderful :) Went and stayed over Justin's house lol....Ice Cream, Monopoly & Twister as drinking games, plus bad horror movies. It was grand times....During that weekend, Robert (the guy that Tashi set me up with ) came by the apartment, left flowers for me (awwww) lol Giggly moment there hehe Thursday was tolerable as it could be, the usual lectures from Grandparents, and my mom (ugh) so avoided that as long as I could by working lol (I admit that I am a workaholic).....Got to talk to Gracie (yippie) She's getting out of the Navy in 2007....I'm glad she's doing well :)Found out one of our mutual friends popped for Mary Jane and is now living in San Fran.....I was floored, because Russ was a health nut, and like sooo like a DARE kid lol anyways....Saw the hour special of Smackdown it was okay.....kind surprised me, but I'll wait and see......Have much shopping to do.....My girl Lynn and my aunt Sandra's birthday is on Friday...Still have to put up my tree too.....It's weird, I have a christmas tree of my own lol I have to go to court with Tashi on the 20th dealing with Sasha.....I hope they lock her ass up....Sorry it's been going on wayyy too long, and it's really pathetic since the girl is still harassing Tashi and she graduated this past June.....Welll that's all I got all...Lats Chickens!!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nov. 22nd, 2005

Punk Status

Forget Regret or Life Is Yours To Miss.....

Yeah......I'm quoting "Rent", what do you want from me, it comes out tomorrow lol So.....been hella busy, working (oh what fun it is)...but been getting out also lol, so I'm not completely tied to a desk lol.....I've been kind of seeing this guy that Tashi introduced me to, it's scary, my lil sis getting me dates lol very funny lol...It's been awesome, laughter, smiling, having fun.....throwing popcorn during football (damn buckeyes fucking winning, yet again).....Oh Yea......that reminds me I must return the fave for Tashi lol......Her prom is coming up April 29th, and she 's sad that she doesn't have a date......damn I mean it's in April....But I told her I would help with the shindig....how noble lol....Yea so any males that actually read this, Tashi needs a date for prom!!!!!! lol But seriously, so major sisterly bonding will be going on in the coming months for this event lol......I converted her now, she's now officially a RentHead lol and we're going to go see "Rent" at the Showcase Cinemas next week with mums lol........Now on to serious stuff......One of the coolest wrestlers I have seen live died last Sunday, well you guys already know.....I'm just kind of in shock......and numb kind of......It's not that I'm not sad because Eddie Guerrero died, I am saddened.....I've just seen so many people pass away for the past 4 years, those I was really close to, not close to, and to sometimes witness it just feet away from me.....I just can't connect at this point in time. I just don't know...lalala huge headache......hmmmm need massage lol....anyways.....Yea the holidays are coming up...I GET TO SHOP!!!! No, I'm not going to shut down the mall or a store in the mall (again lol) I like giving gifts, I don't know why just do hehe......I'm like so smiling alot more that I have been....work is going fine, up for a promotion, love life is content, no pining here, or having a relationship behind closed doors, social life is going good, always like to make new friends and love having fun....I'm loving life.....Living like "No Day, But Today".....okay I'll stop.....I'm just so excited that it's coming out tomorrow lol.....Come on Jesse L. Martin can sing y'all!! lol I'm happy that Rent is coming out, but not compared to Justin, OMG, he's like ecstatic lol, dude saw the musical 10 times lol That's dedication :) I was just happy in seeing it twice, once in New York City and the second time here in Cincy :)......What made it so cool seeing it the first time as cheesy as this moment was, I got my pic taken with Joey Fatone when he played Mark lol It was awesome :)....Wow well I'm not sure what else to right about now......So Happy Turkey Day everyone.....lats kids

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nov. 13th, 2005

Posession

Random Chaos.......With A Little Insanity on the Side

Well, yesterday was pretty effin cool and stressing at the same time....Had work from 4-11 last night lol Tiring as it was, it was awesome...Although, if I had stayed any longer, I wouldn't have been able to get up the next morning lol Had to set up for a promo appearance @ Purgatory...It was great to hang for a few....Drank like 2 beers, and stop right there...because it would have lead into shots, and jagerbombs, jello shots, body shots...long island ice teas...I have a rule for that....I never drink in front of my co-workers....Didn't work so well 3 years ago... lol but it's in effect now lol Got pic with the guys that was awesome :) I have huge crush now lol Beforehand went to the movies, with Justin.....haven't hung out with him in a while....saw Derailed with Jennifer Aniston, it was awesome....I have a big crush on Clive Owen now, hey the accent did it for me and the dark brooding looks lol.....that made Justin a little jealous, but I assured him that he was a hottie too....well he is lol...So today I'm just kind of hanging out....I might head down to Olive Garden down the street, not sure, but I've had a hankering for italian food, just was too lazy to go get it lol....Mostly been working, which would explain my computer being on all the time lol....soooo those of you think, that I'm a geek with no sort of social life, you're wrong lol....Friday was confusing.....I'll just leave it that....lol Too many complications in that lol...I'm convinced that day is a tripped on acid day lol, no I don't do acid lol....Which brings more on to yesterday....A couple of dumbasses decided to speed down the hill on my street, knocking down a utility pole...isn' that fucked up?? Well anyways, about have my daily staple of toast, eggs, and coffee....Lats Children......


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

Nov. 11th, 2005

Punk Status

More Random Boredom......Enjoy :)

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

1. "Come Back To Me" by Janet Jackson
2. "Too Busy Thinking About My Baby" by Marvin Gaye
3. "Role Model" by Helmet
4. "Good Girls, Bad Guys" by DMX
5. "Party" by Nelly Furtado
6. "Expressions Of Your Love" by Rebecca St. James
7. "Criminal" by Eminem

Nov. 10th, 2005

Punk Status

Something funny, I ganked from Shirley Doe :)

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit shuffle and play.
4. Tell us the title and artist of the next 20 songs that show up - especially the fun "embarrassing" ones.
5. (Optional) Quote your favorite verse(s) from each one.


1. "Cheers 2 U" by Playa
2. "If It Don't Take Two" by Shania Twain
3. "Sillborn" by Black Label Society
4. "Diamonds And Pearls" by Prince
5. "Down 4 U" by Ja Rule
6. "Out Of My Head" by Puddle Of Mudd
7. "It's A Man's, Man's, Man's World" by James Brown
8. "In The Space Capsule (The Love Theme)" by Queen
9. "Uncle Joe" by Basin Brothers
10. "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2
11. "I Miss You" by Blink-182
12. "The Colour of Blue" by S Club 7
13. "Just One Of The Boys" by Michelle Poe
14. "Weight Of The World" by Saliva
15. "Girlfriend" by Kelly Price
16. "Noise Brigade" by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
17. "One" by Metallica
18. "Oh, Canada" by Five Iron Frenzy
19. "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool ("I don't care about anyone else, but me....I don't care about anyone or anything....) (WM XVIII, Nuff Said!!!)
20. "You Touch My Heart" by Phill Collins


I know very twisted, huh?? lol well that's not even scratching the surface lol.....It's been a very busy few weeks for me, if I am not at work...I'm at home, sending out resumes and tapes.....I need a break lol I know, I'm a workaholic, I admit it lol It's sad....Tashi and Mums been trying to get me to go to HWA for the past 2 weeks....lol Just don't really have time....Patched things up with Adam, and he has checked into rehab.... He really needs this....It will really do him some good :) Well, all I know is I really need to get away from a desk....I've already had Kate and Mel threaten to club me upside the head and kidnap me lol Got a lead in Orlando I'm going to check out in 2 weeks....so that's somewhat of a vacation...when I'm down there, definately going to check out NWATNA lol I'm a wrestling geek, I admit it lol...I acutally caught RAW for a few on Monday and guess who is doing the play by play (Okay, you already know, but I'm going to tell you anyway) Joey Sytles (Oh My God!!), if I ever wanted to do commentary for a promotion, he is definately, one of the ones, I would watch a tape of...Others would be Gordon Solie, Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura (Color Commentary Wise), and Mean Gene Okerland, along with Tony Schavonie...Not something I would persue, but it would be cool to dabble into, especially, if you want to get into Voice Over work or Radio....But my voice is not up to par, I think, so I'll just stick with being behind the scenes...lol Okay enough work or goals talk, I'm going to go back into work.....so lats :) Here's one more song from my obscure collection of music......


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Nov. 1st, 2005

Punk Status

I Think You Love To Play Clown......

Wow, how fitting it is whenever I get pissed off, I listen to this song. Well here's my little (well not so little) fucking vent....Helped out of buddy of mine , Adam ,that was in some financial trouble, so loaned them some cash to get themselves out of debt....it's happened a few times, but didn't really think any of it....Get a call from this same friend earlier this evening, needs to be bailed out, didn't really ask why...said I would do it.....Get this, I found from the processing officer, that he had some Meth on him.....How fucked up is that??? I gave him cash last week, for his bills, because he was behind....he used that money to buy Meth.....That is beyond fucking betrayal.....I don't know what to even think.....I'm mad, frustrated, pissed off......I felt as I took one of Matt Stryker's mafia kicks to the face (I know bad joke), but that's how I feel.....I'm thinking that I need to stop being such a doormat...I mean what the fuck??? Yea, I'm nice, and sometimes too nice, but goddammit!!! Right now, at this point in time, if like anyone asks me to do something for them, I'm just going to say no, it's like my trust has been shattered in a big way....ya know....It's complete bullshit....I'm just baffeled by the situation...And just honestly don't know where to go from here......

Okay now on to good things....I graduated!!! Yea Go Me!!! lol....It's a nice feel accomplishment.....So Tashi's getting promoted again, lol 1st Lieutentent lol Yep that's my sissy lol Lindsey, came by tonight...to calm me down...we watched the BET 25TH Anniversary Special....dancing along to New Edition (with Bobby Brown's David Ruffin-like entrance, for those who don't know what I am talking about see "The Temptations" movie) OMG Got to see LL Cool J, love his lips and that body that makes you say "Dayyyyyuuuuummmm" lol So I've sent alot of demo tapes and cds, chasing after leads.....Work is becoming peaceful...Not dealing with morons too much....but was loving the halloween party....OMG, some of the dancing that was going on....there was some definate hotness lol Of course you know me when it comes to Halloween....Have to make sure some heads were turning lol Had to rock the PVC lol Have to post some of the pics I took of the party lol...Well got to end this....I'm heading out to drink away the stress that I'm feeling lats y'all.........



xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxxxoxoxo

Oct. 23rd, 2005

Posession

The End Is Here........

Okay Okay, bad pun I know lol......This weekend, gave me a lot to think about. Picture this, there's someone that you've met through a family member. They seem pretty nice, well gentleman like to say, you think there pretty cute, but don't think anything of it. Next thing you know, that you found out that they are interested in you. So you meet on one date, and it went well. But, next thing you know, they are talking about moving into together and going half on the bills and everything, what should you do? This has happened with me. A guy that I met through babysitting my younger sibs a month ago, he's cool, very cute, yet there is some baggage there. One, he just got out of prison, and living with his son's mom until he gets on his feet, Two, he has a son, as I already told you, and Three, I just found out that he's HIV positive. The HIV, doesn't bother me, but I can't deal with him trying to pursue something out of this. I don't know, like I have said many times before....right now I don't feel I am ready for a relationship. Right now I just want to focus on my career, and setting a foundation for myself, whether it be here in Cincinnati or somewhere else. I know you are wondering, have you told him this, but yes I have, and for some reason, it's not clicking in, and I don't know what to do. Oy....as if I don't have enough on my plate. I've finally gotten my senior project done, and I'm nervous about it. I hope the reaction is good. Tomorrow I got an interview with a production company out in Madisonville, which is cool, because it's near the school. I hope it goes well. This coming Tuesday is my last day of interning for the HWA. At first, it was shaky, but observing, it gave me an education not only in television production, but in the wrestling business too. It was a cool experience. I really did learn a lot. I got my costume for Tracy's party (co-worker). I was a little concerned about the corset, but it's a good fit. I'm going to Party City tomorrow after my interview, to get my cat contacts. My mission is to not be recognized. Cat Contacts, and wig, plus makeup lol....hey it works lol........Ugh, I am really about to have a short circuit sometime this week, with the way my brain has been working overtime with the situations I just described.......No more hospital trips for me, because I stress, I swear!!! lol......Well, need to get some work done (imagine that!) so lats kids

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oct. 19th, 2005

Punk Status

Deep Wandering of the Mind

Okay, so I graduate next Friday, and I'm tearing my hair out my head......It's nervous, feeling very unprepared and very insecure. I hate this feeling, it sucks. Monday and Tuesday I had interviews in Indianapolis...I hope they went okay :( I don't know there's this uncertainty......It just makes me really think, did I really try my hardest? I mean my grades are good, for some reason, I just don't think I have done enough. ACK!! Anyways mum's birthday is Saturday. No Chippendales this year (damn!), actually this year, I just got her a present a little locket. Eh, it's not that I wouldn't like to celebrate it with her, but I've got other things going on. Like my senior project, that I've been practically handcuffed to, when I wasn't on interviews, or driving back home. There was no use in going back and forth from Indy to Cincinnati, so I stayed there for the night. Nothing like spending a peaceful night at a hotel, and pizza lol It was peaceful, so I had a piece of mine at least for that night. I didn't show up for the 2 HWA shows, because of my crazy happenings this week. I'm sure they understand, besides Next Tuesday is my last day, and they need to train someone to take over for me. It's not like I haven't been counting the days lol....Well yea I have lol. I'm just anxious to get out there. Well tomorrow night will definitely be chill time sort of speak. I'm going to the Jason Mraz concert with Lacey and Jamie (squeals) lol there's my little girl moment. lol Jason Mraz is awesome..... Well that's all I got y'all...So lats

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oct. 16th, 2005

Punk Status

You're Pathetic In Your Own Way.......

Okay so, I'm like trashed right now, well on my way to being trashed.....Went to go see my boy Eric, it was great......Went to a swinger's club in Dayton, that was intereresting. Didn't really partake in the goings on of the club, but there were a few prospects lol well my weekend started of rocky, I got some bad news, so I had to deal with that.....then yet again, the girl I was telling you about that was harassing Tashi, her and her friends decided to jump her after school on Friday......So I was not in the greatest mood, so it was maybe a good thing, that I wasn't at the show in Dayton.......I was very much on the angry side, and had to take care of affairs lol well, which explain me getting smashed............I so needed a release, called Aaron, went over there last night, vented, cried, and drank.....and he volunteered to be my punching bag, although when he vounteered I think I couldn't have taken a swing lol Slightly recovered from that hangover......Now I seeing Eric, and having a balst reliving old times, made want to drink again....I guess I thought I could recap those memories and live them again.....lol can't exactly relive Panama City or Mardi Gras in New Orleans again......One of the guys from Pensacola, wants me to move to San Diego and move in with him.......You have no idea how close I am, in packing my bags, but scared of the strings that come attached with the move.....I don't know right now I'm finishing off this bottle of Captain, and my brain is getting somewhat fuzzy......Well need to finish this bottle so here's to you kids :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxoxoxoxoxo

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